You are enough, just the way you are.
Counting calories is NOT the best way to approach nutrition. It is only one measurement out of many.
You can count calories to lose some weight. You will definitely lose weight in some way on a calorie deficit, although it may not be the right kind of weight to lose.
For example, losing muscle rather than fat is the wrong direction to take. If you are not approaching weight loss as part of an overall goal to improve your health in general but from a place of frenzy, you will not keep the weight off. In fact, you may even gain. You will find yourself riding that roller-coaster of guilt, shame, and despair.
Friends, come close, lean in, and listen to me tell you something you need to hear because I care about you so much.
You are enough, just the way you are.
Really. Counting calories is not going to make you the person you always wanted to be. You will never be fully happy with yourself “after” you lose a bunch of weight if you aren’t there now. Trust me on this. I rode that obsessive roller-coaster for literally years, more than half my life.
It breaks my heart that the most common standard for health advertising for women is the constant promoting of weight loss. “Lose weight now” “Lose 10 lbs in 10 days” “Get that beach body now”. “Detox to Slim”
You want to know why I do what I do?
Because I’m so passionate about health. Your health. Your mom’s health. Your kids. Not just that they’re at the “ideal weight” (Don’t even get me started on BMI!), but that they are actually healthy,
Are you sick of being sick? Or tired of being tired? Eating the right foods can take you from surviving to thriving. We only get this short life- don’t you owe it to yourself to really grab on for all you’re worth? Because you are worth it.
You are worth your time and commitment to taking care of yourself. Let me help you get started on your journey. I know it’s confusing, but I’m here because it’s my passion. Let me help make it more clear for you.
Click here to book a free assessment.
For most of my teen and adult life I was a dieter. Always watching what I ate and counting calories. Restricting this, that, and everything else. Trying out the ideas featured in women's magazines, harshly condemning myself when I looked in the mirror or when I'd try on a pair of jeans or a dress in the "wrong" size. And heaven forbid I should cave and allow myself some chocolate or some popcorn at the movies.
In the cold, harsh light of comparison, there was always someone thinner than me, taller than me, slimmer waisted or tighter tushed. I remember swim suit shopping with my bestie and another friend in college. What could have been a really fun day for us was ruined for me because I was so obsessed with how I thought the bathing suits looked so much worse on me than on her.
I even struggled with how I looked on my wedding day, even though now I think I looked beautiful. When I look back, I can't believe I thought I was fat. I can't believe how much of my life has been spent in obsessive introspection about the size of my clothes or how I looked in a bathing suit.
The human body's capacity for adaptation is amazing. At my slimmest, the year or so before I was married, I was probably about 30 lbs lighter than I am now. That was the only time my BMI was in line with the "healthy" weight. And I say that in quotations, because my body and my mental state are hundreds of times healthier now than I ever was then. I had just come off of a bad breakup, and was so emotionally shattered I couldn't eat for days. And once I started eating again, I severely restricted my food intake and started working out. Sure, I looked great. But I was obsessing with food and exercise as a means to control something in a life I felt was out of control.
When I was pregnant with my second child I was heavier than I ever have been, before or since. I learned the hard way with my first pregnancy that denying myself food when I was hungry in an effort to not gain more than the recommended 25 lbs was a recipe for non stop vomiting for my entire pregnancy. So, with my second son, I ate when I was hungry. As a result, I was 50 lbs higher than I am now- a staggering number.
A few years ago, I was almost at my BMI target weight again- just 15 lbs away from it. To get there I was working out almost every day, counting calories, and again obsessing about how I looked, and what size I could fit into. I loved buying smaller clothes! But I didn't love the amount of effort I had to put into my life to be that size. It was constant vigilance, never ending. If my weight didn't drop in a week I'd feel despair, even worse if I put on a pound or two. Woe to me if I was too sick or busy to get my hour long workouts in. I'd started letting food control issues dictate my life again, and eventually I burnt out.
Naturally, I put some weight back on. But the number I'm at is the one my body seems to like. It takes no effort to maintain it, and I am physically healthy- blood work confirms it- and active. I am now active purely for the joy of it. I can't wait to take up yoga and tap dance again in the fall. I can keep up with my boys. I enjoy walking and sometimes even jog a little. I may not ever hit my ideal BMI again, but somehow over the last year I don't look in the mirror and think "eww" anymore. Sure, my belly and my bottom got a little bit of extra padding from when my boys took up residence inside me, but I'm strong and capable. I'm not afraid to try new things, and my quality of life is pretty great.
"1200 calories, maximum allowed per day". Does this sound familiar to you? Growing up as a girl in the usual fashion I definitely have always felt that my body type didn't measure up. There was always someone with a completely different body type I would have preferred to my own. I went to great lengths to try to achieve this, but you are what you are. No matter how much I would have wished to be taller and slimmer, with a longer torso, perhaps, or a slimmer waist, no amount of "dieting" or exercise could have gotten me there.
For a short time in high school I almost developed an eating disorder. My mom enrolled me in Weight Watchers after she found out I was limiting myself to a diet coke and a banana while I was at school. I don't know that WW is for everyone, but it did open my eyes to a lot of things, one of them the right way to watch calories...quality over quantity, and watching your quantities of even nutritious foods. I don't remember exercise playing a role in weight loss lessons back in my WW days, but it has been more than 25 years since I attended.
So, enough of my history. Let's talk about basal metabolic rate, or BMR. In short, this number is the measurement of how many calories your body requires just to stay alive. To blink, breathe, etc. If you were in a coma, you'd still need these calories. It's a different number for everyone, and it changes with your changes. Get taller, gain weight, lose weight, shrink in height, age, etc- your number will always change.
Here is an excellent page on determining your BMR. The thing to remember, is, you need more calories than your BMR gives you. Remember, that's just what you need for basic survival. Once you add in living, no matter that you're considered sedentary or otherwise, you need more energy to fuel your life.
Follow this link for "Daily Calorie Needs" to continue on to a calculation for how many calories you should actually be consuming. If you're anything like me, it's going to take a while to allow yourself to eat that many calories.
What are your thoughts on this? Are you surprised by the number you were given? I know I was.